After 47 years, I’ve learned that life is balancing a tightrope of being selfless and selfish.
If your decisions go against the grain of what society believes is right, be prepared for many questions and the self-doubt that might follow.
Those who don’t understand might label you selfish. But there are always two sides to an argument.
Selfish goals may appear that way only because others don’t fully grasp the magnitude of change it can inspire in your life.
Putting my head down and walking away from a teaching career to pursue professional fighting all those years ago wasn’t a selfish act.
It was just the natural order of things. I had already made a name for myself among the amateur ranks at the time.
If I wanted to move up to the UFC and achieve my goal of becoming a professional athlete, I needed better competition to improve.
Turning pro was the logical step forward. Given my accomplishments in MMA, it’s hard to argue against my decision.
Chasing my selfish goal
In hindsight, it does seem selfish to put my family through the uncertain years when MMA was still considered ‘human cockfighting’.
I missed important family occasions like birthdays and gatherings throughout my UFC career, all because I was deep in training camp preparing for a match. Precious moments that I will unfortunately never get back.
The thing about selfish goals – like winning a World Championship – is that you often feel empty inside after achieving them.
It sounds strange, but I had the same hollow experience after winning my first title. Imagine going from an arena with five thousand cheering fans to an empty hotel room in Atlantic City. Even with the championship belt in my hands, I never felt emptier.
I had dedicated years of my life towards this goal. And now, my purpose was gone.
The relationships that I’ve nurtured with my team of coaches, training partners, and friends were focused on helping me chase that goal.
They had invested so much into helping me succeed, yet I couldn’t properly share my success with them.
In pursuit of service goals
As the years passed and I continued to compete successfully at a high level, I began to forge deeper and more meaningful connections with others close to me.
While chasing selfish goals appeals to the adrenaline junkie in me, you hardly feel satisfied once you achieve them.
In sports, it’s the next man up. So, you’re constantly looking over your shoulder to defend your title against new challengers.
Having spent nearly two decades perfecting my craft and achieving my selfish goals, I knew it was time that I had to pivot toward service goals.
Service goals stem from my desire to help and inspire others. I want others to share and enjoy the same success that I did.
That’s one of my main motivations for starting the Quite Franklin podcast.
It gives me an opportunity to share how I applied strategies and developed a resilient championship mindset. I believe others can learn and replicate these ideas to become successful in pursuing their own goals.
Selfish goals vs. service goals
While I’m in a phase of life where service goals have taken priority, I recognize the need for selfish goals.
Had it not been for my ambition to chase selfish goals when I was younger, I would not be in a capable position to positively influence and help others today.
Work is a crucial part of our lives. And sometimes, we need selfish goals such as earning enough money to take care of our basic needs and create a standard of living that we desire.
But sooner or later, we will need to examine our life and choices. Because it can be equally fulfilling, if not more, to be of service to others.
When we were filming ONE Warrior Series in the Philippines, I ran into a fellow hiker in the woods. He remarked that he was a fan and thanked me for being a role model all those years ago when I was competing.
It’s gratifying to know that even out here in the sticks, in one of the most remote parts of the world, I made such an impact and impression on somebody.
In my content, I’ve covered the importance of setting goals and building sustainable routines.
I’m confident that the same principles can apply to selfish and service goals equally.
It’s my goal to put out more content that can provoke thought and inspire others to change their behavior.
This is a reflective process, not just for my followers but for myself.
How can I be the best version of myself?
How can I challenge others to pursue their goals and instill the right mindset and attitudes to encourage that behavior?
Finally, how will I motivate others to overcome their struggles and help them lead happier and more fulfilling lives?