Since my last post several months ago, how many of you have practised daily kindness?
As the saying goes “An act of kindness goes a long way”. You never know how your words or actions will make a difference in someone else’s life.
It feels good and empowering to have consideration and empathy for others. Imagine how much better it would be if we grant ourselves the same?
In today’s highly competitive society, it is easy to get strung up on criticism and never feel like you are good enough.
The drive to succeed can push many of us to the brink, blurring the line between introspection and self-loathing.
Kindness is for everyone. That includes you.
As often as we acknowledge our faults, it is equally important to be kind and patient with ourselves.
Here’s how.
Listen To Your Inner Voice
One of my main goals is to be more attuned to my mental and physical state.
When you achieve this level of self-awareness, you are able to recognize the signals from both your mind and body.
In fitness parlance, “listen to your body” means understanding when something feels off. Feeling sore or worn out? That’s a signal that your body needs rest.
Similarly, the expression of self-kindness begins with understanding oneself. You must consciously block out negative thoughts or distractions and focus on what your mind and body are trying to tell you.
Don’t Lie, Empathize
Harsh criticism is difficult to internalize. Many seek to avoid this and instead choose the path of denial.
Not all negative thoughts are bad. Setting high standards sometimes forces you to leave your comfort zone and allows for personal growth.
To disregard or dismiss negative thoughts outright is akin to lying to oneself. Neither is force feeding a deluge of positive thoughts in their place.
Both actions do not represent self-kindness or self-compassion. Rather than beat yourself up whenever you fall short, acknowledge your shortcomings but love yourself for trying.
It doesn’t hurt to practice some self-empathy.
Never let self-criticism inhibit you from trying new things and taking chances.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Honor His Creation
When you choose self-kindness, you honor God. You are his creation. It is he who made you. Regardless of our flaws, God loves each and every one of us.
Incarnate of God, Jesus offered his love and forgiveness to all. He administered to the sick, the diseased and the needy.
Care for yourself just as the Lord cares for you, and as he would have you care for others. Take responsibility for your faults and strive to grow by God’s grace.
Because we are made in his image, we must preserve his love for us by choosing to love and forgive ourselves. At the end of the day, understand that only God can judge us.
Setting Boundaries
Being around difficult people constantly can make you feel down.
Setting boundaries restores your sense of self-worth. Like anyone else, you deserve love, care and respect.
Do not altruistically take on the burden of others, especially when they continue to blame you for their shortcomings.
Speak up to protect your mental well-being. As a Christian, there were times when others exploited my kindness and forgiveness.
In lieu of longstanding relationships, it felt hard to set limits and boundaries in the beginning. Once I put that into practice, I realized that being firm not only protects you, it also helps others to be accountable for their actions.
Let Go Of Perfection
Like most of you, I strive for perfection in my daily tasks. We all seek to do our best and achieve our goals.
“Ace” was a moniker I fought literally, to live by. A perfect pro MMA record is a career distinction that few men have ever attained.
To lose my first fight when I did was tough to swallow. It was a blemish on my record – one which I took pride to uphold.
However, to err is human. I was then and still am today, my own worst critic.
Rather than let disappointment gnaw away my self-esteem and confidence, it became an opportunity for self-kindness and compassion.
My goals morphed from being a perfect fighter to one that could compete and challenge consistently for the title. Though I had relinquished the ideals of perfection, it rekindled a desire to be the best that I could become.
That moment of self-kindness went a long way indeed.