There comes a time when every person looks back on their life and wonder if they’ve truly fulfilled their potential.
Some experience this epiphany in their forties, aka the dreaded midlife crisis. Others claim to have a flash of insight as they lie on their deathbed.
On a less macabre note, I’m pretty sure most of us ponder over this question from time to time.
Mine came during the Quite Franklin podcast with my guest Dave Hollis.
Dave has built a successful lifestyle brand that coaches others to build better lives. I knew he had a lot to offer and wanted to pick his brain on success and potential.
Hollis shared a story about a hospice nurse who had spent time with terminally ill patients on the verge of death and ended up compiling a list of all their regrets.
She found that the number one regret was they all wished they had the courage to live a life that was true to themselves, and not the life that others expected of them.
These people did not see the potential within and instead tried to realize the potential they thought others had expected of them.
The Power of Potential
Potential is such an exciting word. The mere mention of it brings the mind to ponder a dozen possibilities. Yet, potential can be such an intimate and personal concept.
If regret is often tied to unfulfilled potential, then the question is ‘What is my potential?’
What followed was an interesting discussion about spirituality, life and understanding of oneself.
I’m in agreement with Dave: We’ve all been intentionally and deliberately designed by a Creator with a plan.
Each of us is given a set of gifts or skills and has gone through unique individual experiences.
The question then is: How are these setting me up to confront and handle the circumstances before me? What can I do with what I’ve been given by my creator?
How do we define our own potential?
Too many times, we are weighed down by expectations that we erroneously believe society has placed on us.
The fear of judgement by others prevents us from fulfilling our potential or acting intentionally to fulfil our purpose, aspirations and who we need to become.
According to Dave, these opinions by others create dissonance and compromise the confidence you would have in yourself.
This moves us further away from our true intentions to be on this earth and away from fulfilling the potential that we have.
I loved football and for the longest time I harbored dreams of being a professional football player.
After many years at high school, it became apparent I didn’t have the athletic abilities to pursue football at the highest level.
Instead, I found my calling in martial arts and took to the journey of becoming better at it every day.
This experience expanded my vision of what I thought was my potential. It laid the groundwork for what would become a 13-year-career in the UFC and becoming the Middleweight World Champion.
Fear may irritate but it can also motivate
But I recognize that not everybody gets to decide from a young age what they want to do or discover what they are good at.
Even though we convince ourselves that we are on the right path, sometimes the insecurity and doubts do take root and fester.
We fear what we may not become or that we might never be good enough. This fear shouldn’t stand in the way of you actualizing your potential.
As an athlete, I never felt like I was good enough, or rather it was my fear of becoming good enough that challenged me to continuously refine and develop myself into a better fighter.
Actualizing our daily potential
Sometimes the idea of potential is so broad, that it can overwhelm us.
Yet our daily potential isn’t necessarily a fixed concept. Because every morning, we get to decide how we are going to show up today.
Maybe the ambition doesn’t necessarily have to be something you need to become. It could be being a little better today than you were yesterday.
And as Dave echoes, it does not take away from how great you are. You are great, you are enough and you are whole. All that means is that you’re on a journey today of becoming.
There’s an unattributable quote floating about the internet that I found particularly unsettling, and for good reason.
“Someone once told me the definition of hell: The last day you have on earth, the person you became will meet the person you could have become.”